I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
