i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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