Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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