is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
