Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Randomize
