made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
