You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
