dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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