So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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