mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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