I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
