she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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