Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
no, he came in my armpit
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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