She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So here I am, sexting at work.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
