"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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