Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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