Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
