I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
should my penis look like a turkey
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm both gender and math confused
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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