Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
