Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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