I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Who did Billy Mays play for?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
do herpes really smell.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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