just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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