I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
