I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
