I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
