Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
