Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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