Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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