I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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