She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
