I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
