I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
