I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
