I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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