Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
