I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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