dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
