I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
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