I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
