How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
