have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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