I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
