I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
