He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
