I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
