Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
