If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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