come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
