the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
