My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
