Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
