bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
